Imagine: you and your boyfriend are deciding where to eat. You’re PMSing and in the mood for pancakes and a big latte. He says he wants Chipotle, making you scream inside because you think he should just know you’re PMSing and want comfort diner food, so you don’t say anything. You slam the car door and deny anything is wrong when he looks at you concerned, as he starts the drive to Chipotle.
You make it through the line, take a seat at the table, pull your food out of the bag and just stare at it angrily, still thinking he should have read your mind by now. It makes you even more upset to watch him enjoy his meal when you’ve barely taken two bites. You finally blurt out that he should know you’re PMSing and want diner food at this time of the month.
He drops his fork, looks at you with wide eyes, apologizes that he had no idea, and insists on leaving right now to head to your favorite spot. (That’s exactly how my boyfriend would react.) You say coldly, “No, it’s fine, we’re already here,” and force the Mexican food down your throat.
Because you’ve finally voiced what you were keeping to yourself all morning, you feel a little better by the time you get back home. Speaking your truth allowed your mind to cool down and body to relax.
Did you really want to spend 2-3 hours feeling depressed because you wanted your only-human boyfriend to mind read your desires, instead of just speak up for what you want? You wouldn’t have felt so crappy all morning, you wouldn’t have risked the peace of the relationship for that day, and you would have gotten to enjoy the buttery pancakes and warm latte you craved.
I used to people-please my way through many situations, leaving me feeling resentful and annoyed. It affected the whole world around me and whoever I was with, and ruined many situations that had the potential to be fun.
People-pleasing isn’t honest, it isn’t healthy because it causes stress that can last hours (or days), and it isn’t the formula for strong relationships. Just like you, other people are open to making you happy as well… they just have to know what you want first.
In my life coaching program, I teach you how to shed the chameleon skin that keeps you feeling as if you have no voice. You feel like you don’t deserve to have a voice because since you were little, you were hushed, you were told you were “too much,” and you were told that your opinion didn’t matter. Those might not have been the exact words parents, teachers, and other grown ups in your life used, but the message that your voice and desires didn’t matter was clear enough that you programmed yourself to believe this well into adulthood.
But it’s safe to speak up for what you want, think, and believe. And it’s safe when others don’t agree with you.
I help you learn how to feel safe when speaking your truth- something that took me 30 years to develop myself, and now that I have that skill, I want to help other women who’ve felt they had to blend in their whole life finally open up to the vibrant truth that is totally authentically them. Why? So that they can feel safe to have everything they want and deserve in their life.
I help you deal with the shameful feelings when other people actually don’t take what you have to say with ease, and teach you that it’s still important for your well-being to continue showing up for yourself even when other people wish you’d stay small.
You’ll begin to stand tall in your power, displaying confidence to the world, attracting people and opportunities that would have missed you had you been keeping yourself small and unseen. This is how job opportunities fall into your lap. This is how you meet the partner of your dreams. This is how you make aligned friends with ease.
When you’re confident and open to the world, you attract everything that vibrates at your highest frequency. When you hide yourself from the world, you feel low, attracting everything that vibrates at your lowest frequency. This is especially true for relationships. How you show up in the relationship is exactly how the relationship will be.